Fifty Shades of Grey

Synopsis from GoodReads:

When literature student Anastasia Steele is drafted to interview the successful young entrepreneur Christian Grey for her campus magazine, she finds him attractive, enigmatic and intimidating. Convinced their meeting went badly, she tries to put Grey out of her mind - until he happens to turn up at the out-of-town hardware store where she works part-time. 

The unworldly, innocent Ana is shocked to realize she wants this man, and when he warns her to keep her distance it only makes her more desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her - but on his own terms. 

Shocked yet thrilled by Grey's singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success – his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving adoptive family – Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a passionate, physical and daring affair, Ana learns more about her own dark desires, as well as the Christian Grey hidden away from public scrutiny. 

Can their relationship transcend physical passion? Will Ana find it in herself to submit to the self-indulgent Master? And if she does, will she still love what she finds?

The first night I sat down to read it I thought ehh it’s ok, but I flew through it pretty quickly. My first impression of Christian was that he was kind of douchy and I just wasn’t that into him, he talked like he was a hundred years old (possibly a 100 year old vampire?) but I did find him hot and I loved him in the emails. I actually disliked Ana more than Christian.  

Ana’s naivety is mind-numbing. At twenty-one years old, having just spent four years living at college, to have only been kissed twice and never attracted to anyone? Her shock at Kate dancing with Elliott when she just met him, come on. I just think she’s a little over the top naïve and annoying.

How many times does Tess of the D’Urbervilles need to be mentioned? Even for those who haven’t read it, it’s way over the top. Yes, I get it; you are comparing Anastasia to Tess. Tess was an innocent woman who is corrupted by Alex D’Urberville and in turn becomes a Fallen Woman. Throw in the virginity, pigtails and the fact that Ana is twenty one and can’t say vagina and  the author is practically shaking a copy of Tess in front of me saying look I know how to use Allusion and Motif!

I just find it really hard to believe that Ana, a no relationships in the past virgin, would seriously consider Christian’s contract. I can understand wanting to explore her sexuality and maybe the kinkier sides of the relationship, consenting to the abuse, the demeaning, demanding aspects is tough to believe. Yes, she may not sign anything but that’s just a technicality.

Let’s not forget Ana’s split personality. Her “Inner Goddess” just wants to screw, who cares if she may have to get smacked first. I hope she stomps on the bitch because I can’t take another two books with her talking about how horny her Inner Goddess is. If I had to read once more about her “Inner Goddess or “Oh My” I would have liked to show her my red hand of pain.

Half of the things that come out of both their mouths are said in whispers and everything Ana does elicits gasps from Christian, Mr. oh so sexual is gasping because Ana’s wearing his underwear, oh no, shocking. I chalked it up to the awful (if at all) editing job.  And are they British or American? Can the author clear that up, because there are definitely too many British-isms.

What makes the book enjoyable for me are the email exchanges between them. They are playful and fun. Christian is looser and let’s his humor shine through more during these witty exchanges. It is during these back and forth conversations that we see the lighter side of Christian. I prefer to think of it as the real Christian.

I just don’t understand all of the hype this book is receiving. While I don’t read BDSM specific books, I do read a lot of romance novels so I didn’t think the sex scenes qualified as porn per say, although there were a few scenes that were a bit kinkier than I’m used to. I wonder if the people hyping this have never read a romance before, because there are definitely better books out there that deserve more hype than this is getting. Yet, I hate leaving anything unfinished and this ended in a cliff hanger so I will be forced to read the next two installments (eye roll).